Written in lockdown

The Space Between

The space between

Narrow, sharp, silent

Routine giving way to rut

What is unsaid conceding doubt

The accumulation of time the only evidence

Its only worth

The pull away

Distant, sudden, cruel

First one then the other

Neither letting go, straining to keep hold

But pushing further away, heels digging in

Remaining tethered

The space between

Sprawled, dull, resonant

An uncanny threatening

Dotted with obstacles, taunting and cruel

Proximity a false proxy for the sea

A profound gulf

The separation

Forced, instilled, needed

A skerrick of control in chaos

Bound to here, banned from there

Neither one thing nor the other a comfort

In this space between

Zoom date

The face staring back at me looks sad, squished forward, saggy, puffy, the down turned eyes and mouth unable or unwilling to emote. I try to emit warmth, with the hope it is mirrored back, but it comes off so blatantly performative. It’s no wonder, I wonder, the loneliness with that impassive veneer. Lighten the hell up! At least try to look like you want to be here, I implore silently. I look elsewhere, anywhere but at that tedious swollen face. Glancing back briefly, and I catch its blank stare quickly adjust. You’re not fooling anyone. They can all see just how bloody miserable you are. They’ll definitely say something behind your back. They’re probably glad to not be … BAHAHAHA the sudden boom of earnest laughter breaks my thought, what did I miss?

Thoughts on masks

Mask up, cover up – I’ve been doing it for years. This time I don’t have to smile.

The masked singer – who could it be? I must be bored.

Behind a mask no one can see me gasp for air.

Senses muffled, feelings concealed.

I still wear an eye mask to bed every night, even though the night terrors have stopped.

I where ear plugs to mask the noise of the freight trains outside and in my bedroom.

This charcoal face mask is going to have to work hard to purify this shamozzle.

Its been six months since I've been to the hairdressers, this hair mask will fix my hair.